“Run to the desert
You will be all that you need to be
Run to the desert
You will see all that you need to see”
From “Desert Song” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes
I have this urge, which is hardly able to be explained to a normal sane human. I want to go and play in the desert. I feel that it will almost reset me to the way I want to be. You know that feeling that you are on the precipice of something so much bigger than yourself? I want to recapture that, just for a moment. And I have the strongest suspicion that it is sitting in the desert just waiting, patiently for me to show up.
The desert is not a static place, it constantly changes, challenges and moves. That is exactly what I want to be. I am sick of being the same all the time. You know that saying that you cannot expect change if you do the same thing all the time? How true that is, yet, how guilty are we of expecting something to be different because we will it that way? I know I am. I am working on a list of 1001 things that I want to work towards and I need to ACTIVELY work towards them. Last week at a career counselling appointment with one of the smartest people I know, I stated in the open that I wanted to cease with the coasting along and work towards shaping my life. Every single job (bar two!) in my (short) working life has been handed to me on a platter. Do you know what the result of this same conversation was? On Friday a mentor rang me up and asked me to assist her in teaching on Thursday afternoons. Here I go, coasting into another opportunity. I said yes. I have so much to learn, I would be crazy to say no!
This is what confuses me about Buddhism ( another giant leap in thoughts, apologies!). We should be open to experiences, not set our expectations (expectations lead to suffering)…. yet, how does one achieve? Is this the dichotomy between the East and the West? I really should seek out someone to talk to about this. Maybe that should be on my 1001 – attend a Buddhist study group.
My thoughts are all over the place, but ultimately:
*I want to go to the Desert
* I want to be open to new experiences
* I want to be a dynamic mother, partner and person
❤ you Edwarde Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes! (And shame on you for not coming to Brisbane!)