Happy Birthday

I could put her name, but I won’t.

I could put memories, but I can’t.

I can tell you that we weren’t close, but I had so fervently hoped that we would become better friends. When she died, I cried tears for what was and what could have been. What I wanted. How selfish is that? At 27 years of life, she just didn’t wake up again and I was worried about what I was missing?

It goes deeper than that, of course. I had known her before I was born. In fact, she was named after me despite the fact that she was born before me – my mother never really forgave her mother for that one. We went to different primary schools and then the same high school.

And then we drifted in and out of each other’s lives. She was a supremely good photographer, she needed an interview for a school project… We kept meaning to catch up. We never did. We always had time.

And then we didn’t.

I miss her. Her photos pop up in a forum I lurk in… Her facebook profile pops up with the ridiculous line underneath “reconnect”. How I would love to..! Her body is cold. She is gone.

And today she would have been 28 – I would have left her a message wishing her a phenomenal year, filled with all the promises of tomorrow.

So beautiful girl, happy 28th Birthday – may your year be filled with 1000 dreams. I wish you were here. Lxxx

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