28 things I learned at 28

Tomorrow, I wake up 29. I don’t care about this number.
29 sounds glamorous, mysterious and magic.
In 2009, I did my 27 lessons I learned at 27.
They are still totally appropriate, but here are 28 more.
  1. That when you think your life is big, it gets bigger
  2. When you think you can love no more, that life finds a way to make your heart bigger
  3. Blending in is the devil
  4. There is no such thing as normal
  5. Letting go is hard
  6. Nothing happens without effort
  7. Wishing is giving control of your path to someone else
  8. Dust breeds dust bunnies
  9. Sometimes, the cat chooses you
  10. What has gone before, isn’t always the predictor for what comes next
  11. When things are hard, laugh. Enjoy the challenge.
  12. Running is a really, really, really good way for me to channel my anger
  13. I like exercise
  14. Roller Derby is a sport, not just spectacle
  15. Opting out is sometimes the opposite
  16. Courage comes in all shapes and sizes

  17. That being interested in everything is not a sign of failure
  18. I have a place in my family
  19. Friendships are not static
  20. People are not static
  21. There is a point in parenting where you see the future clearly (and it makes you teary to see it)
  22. Love does not come in one size
  23. Relationships are based on trust and communication
  24. Semantics are mildly important at times, deathly important at others and irrelevant at other times
  25. Time is precious
  26. Joy comes from within
  27. My favourite colour is not pink
  28. I am who I am, and I am truly okay with that.
Not as profound as last year, but some of these are very new. Embracing me, in all my crazy guises.
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Today I….

 

– Saw how big Cyclone Yasi was (and prayed to the universe for people to have enough self determination to stay safe

– Ate heart shaped rainbow cake on the back deck with the offspring – lovingly crafted by the spouse

– Watched Lost in Translation for the billionth time (side note: When the boy would be unable to sleep as a tiny person, I would snuggle up with him on our couch and watch this movie in the middle of the night. So.Many.Times. This is the movie that talks to me.)

– Wrote

– Booked a fitness consultation

 

It is surreal being less than 1000 kilometres away from one of the largest cyclones in Australia and…. have life continue as normal. My thoughts and love are with family and friends in the North.

 

Is Here.

I want to ask you:

When was the last time you took a moment to compliment someone on something that they’re struggling with? I am constantly struggling with something or another (um, derby, school work, drama work, balancing the neediness of my son with the neediness of my self always wanting to do more) and when someone says something nice or even notices that I’m trying, it makes me feel great.

I always like to compliment people when I see them trying. I am so happy to see people try their best, it takes a lot of courage. Bravery isn’t always a big act, remember?

And the world always needs another hero.

And not those idiotic people who drive their car fast and cut you off, but the ones chasing a dream, hunting it down and telling the world to watch them while they do it. Or the mama bears that are coping with sleep deprivation, financial indecisions and doing their best in raising their offspring. Setting examples that with enough thought and action, anything is possible.

If you find yourself doing something hard this week, please know that there’s someone (on the other side of town, Australia, the world, the universe) quietly saying thank-you for stretching out of your comfort zone.

The world needs another hero and you’re absolutely perfect for the role.

The answer to what I do….

… (before I accidentally hit publish again!!!!!!)

I do not work for money(**waves** Hi ATO!). I have no job title. This is some of what I do:

  • I study part time for my postgraduate diploma in psychology – my last resort for the psych path as I played up far too much in my youth. Daily I wonder if psych is really for me, but I will finish this semester and then truly decide (for now).
  • I assist my drama teacher in entertaining the small fry at her drama studio. I am head wrangler one afternoon a week. I have so much fun and am so nervy after an afternoon teaching! My young charges are aged 5 – 9 and I have SEVENTEEN of them. I now have an assistant entertainer who is just beautiful – the children all think she is a super model 🙂
  • I am completing my ASDA in the AMEB Syllabus for Speech and Drama. Technically, I am a drama teacher. Those who have taught with me would argue that it is very, very, very technically.
  • I am the full-time chauffeur to my boys, chef several nights a week and provider of a sometimes made bed.
  • I also try to catch up with at least one friend once a week. It’s important for me to still feel connected.
  • I am learning to roller skate once a week.
  • I already hold a BA in psych and a couple of Drama certificates in AMEB and Trinity College (that my mother is way more proud of them than I am!).
  • I am also midway through a degree in business. I enjoy banking and finance more than the average housefrau and do create spreadsheets to assist in making financial decisions.  Sadly, my uni won’t let me do this degree at the same time as my current enrollment 😦
  • And then there is the photography… I do that for fun, though! Unless I can devise a marketing strategy to just photograph 4 year olds 😀

I’m a great believer in making a job title for myself…. but I haven’t found one that suits what I do except Lifetime Student… maybe…. studying drives me crazy… Suggestions???? (Seriously…..!). (What is in a name? I have no need to be defined… do I?)

(pick a cupcake…. styled by a very talented friend!)

Of late, I’ve felt rather flattened by the load I’ve taken on – not because I am overworked, but I feel bored. The things I really enjoy doing, I’m not doing in comparison to the things that I don’t really enjoy. I’ve lost sight of what I am working towards – what is my goal?

So there’s this idea of maybe, just maybe heading into the workforce again… but why should work define who I am? I’m seeking the challenge of new people, places and ideas – It’s time to cast my net a little wider.

It’s mental altitude that’s holding me back, I know that. I just feel so paralyzed about going forward. I feel I am going to fall, so I don’t take a step. It’s like me on roller skates, even super skater teacher dude last week noticed that I was terrified and had no rhythm because of it.

Solutions? Easy Solutions? I don’t think there are any. (except maybe getting over myself!)

Watch this space.


On Wishing

I don’t believe in wishes.

There you go, I said it.

I believe in wanting things. I believe in working towards things and making things happen yourself.

I do not believe in passively sitting by and waiting for something to happen, just because you wish it to. Why should that thing that you’ve been wishing for happen? How can it if you are not working towards it?

By declaring that you want something to happen, things really start rolling. So this weekend, make something happen.

Declare it, own it, make it yours.

What makes you happy?

What makes you happy?

If you could do it every day, would it still make you happy? Or would you become complacent about it?

Some of the things that make me happy include (but are not limited to):

– Listening to the boy dancing on our wooden floors

– Playing with silk satin (one of my favourite textures)

– Taking a photo and knowing that it looks the way I want it to

– Knowing that I have contributed to something getting better

– Sleeping beside the spouse

– Having a clutter free bedroom. The rest of the house can be upside down, but please give me a tidy sanctuary!

These are the things that I don’t think I could ever get complacent about, really. I smile every time I hear the boy dancing – it’s his happiness that makes me happy. Silk satin is always a shock to the skin when you touch it as the temperature is always different from your own – I don’t think it could let you ignore it. Taking photos I am happy with is always a struggle and you know the cliche about struggle – it does make success sweeter.

My Mother in Law (who is the most awesome mother in law in the world – seriously!) keeps telling me that life gets better as you get older and I keep seeing this in action. I am so much happier at the end of my 20’s than I was at the beginning and whilst I couldn’t really put into words who I am, I feel I know who I am a lot more. I still have those hideous days – but they are less…

…and I know that the little things in life go a long way to making me feel happy.

Life around here has been cah-razy this week and I have more than a few things that simply cannot go on-line…. so wish me luck as I don my snorkel to wade through the muck and just keep breathing….(I’ll be fine!).