I started “dating” the spouse as a crazy 19 year old and when he was 21.

He turned 31 this week, almost a whole decade spent with me.

He has loved, supported, chased after and led me. He’s my best friend – the one I can say anything to and he listens… He’s a really, really, really good guy – despite running on the barest minimum of sleep.

Add to the fact that he’s a tremendous father, one of the cleverest people I have ever met, has a truly wicked sense of humor… and I wonder why on Earth he settled with me…

But sometimes, you just have to accept that good things happen for no apparent reason and enjoy the ride.

Happy Birthday to the most incredible partner I could have ever wished for! Yay for Pharlap/Cap’n Oblivious/Totes Inapropes!

Edited to add: a picture of boy + mini boy:



I am numb.

The shock of holding my 8 year old child in my arms is arresting.


He is not a little boy any longer, but on his way to being big. He is a child, still, with the trappings of a contemporary first world child around him. He has been plugged into his DS since yesterday afternoon thanks to the arrival of a game he has wanted for months. I have made him stay in bed, today. He’s got a cough and is sooky. “If you’re sick, you stay in bed.”

He acquiesced. He is sick.

I’ve hung out with him, pondering if the addition of another year actually makes a difference. It doesn’t, really. It just confirms this progression of time.


I am running out of times to pick him up and spin him, tickle him and blow raspberries on his tummy. I am running out of times that he will tell me he loves me in public. And times where he will hold my hand. Time seems… cruel.

Today, I hold him close and smell him. He smells. Kinda gross. But he’s him still.

I can see the shadow of the person he is growing into, his sense of humor is established. He is generous in his words and actions, most of the time. He still cries when things don’t go his way. He loves pokemon, lego, reading, maths, science and his pets.

I am trying to move on faster than him, so he doesn’t ever realise that I am sad, mournful almost, of letting my little boy go… and be grateful of the fact that he is here, in this moment, present. I am so, so, lucky.

Happy 8 years, dearest one.

(written on August 17. Photo taken September 10, Nikon D7000)

28 things I learned at 28

Tomorrow, I wake up 29. I don’t care about this number.
29 sounds glamorous, mysterious and magic.
In 2009, I did my 27 lessons I learned at 27.
They are still totally appropriate, but here are 28 more.
  1. That when you think your life is big, it gets bigger
  2. When you think you can love no more, that life finds a way to make your heart bigger
  3. Blending in is the devil
  4. There is no such thing as normal
  5. Letting go is hard
  6. Nothing happens without effort
  7. Wishing is giving control of your path to someone else
  8. Dust breeds dust bunnies
  9. Sometimes, the cat chooses you
  10. What has gone before, isn’t always the predictor for what comes next
  11. When things are hard, laugh. Enjoy the challenge.
  12. Running is a really, really, really good way for me to channel my anger
  13. I like exercise
  14. Roller Derby is a sport, not just spectacle
  15. Opting out is sometimes the opposite
  16. Courage comes in all shapes and sizes

  17. That being interested in everything is not a sign of failure
  18. I have a place in my family
  19. Friendships are not static
  20. People are not static
  21. There is a point in parenting where you see the future clearly (and it makes you teary to see it)
  22. Love does not come in one size
  23. Relationships are based on trust and communication
  24. Semantics are mildly important at times, deathly important at others and irrelevant at other times
  25. Time is precious
  26. Joy comes from within
  27. My favourite colour is not pink
  28. I am who I am, and I am truly okay with that.
Not as profound as last year, but some of these are very new. Embracing me, in all my crazy guises.


#1 – The boy’s birthday? He scored. He has a birthday party coming up on Saturday with 30 or so of his friends from school and beyond. I know that some of the mothers are putting in together for a games shop voucher. Which is the best idea ever for a birthday party present! His birthday cake, proper is for his birthday party. So I had intended that he have a cupcake for his cake that night… he decided that he didn’t want to put the candle in his decorated cupcake, which led to this sad looking cupcake for his cake. He did actually ask if his parents were joking (we weren’t!).

#2 – My MIL continues her recovery. She had surgery on her wrist the day after accident and is in a handy-dandy cast. She is incredible in the ways that she can count the positives.

#3 – We got our tomatoes off the vine. The largest one was 280grams! The black russian in this photo is up against a $1 coin. Massive beastie. Apparently quite tasty, too!

#4 – We have our first stalk of edible asparagus off our 2 year old crown

#5 – The workshop has come to an end. And my teacher has news. Go forth and revel in it!

Caught up. Done.

Goodbye, Six.

Dear boy,

When you wake in the morning, you will be seven. Seven years ago, I wasn’t labouring with you, yet. I awoke and spent the morning laughing with your father, eating leftover pizza and wondering if today would be the day. By that point, you were six days overdue and induction was being talked about for the following Wednesday.

We had guests arrive, when my waters broke, of course. They didn’t notice, so much did I want this to be a quiet family affair.

Seven hours later, you were in my arms. And I was wondering what I had done. At 6:03pm on the 16th of August, you arrived. I told you tonight that you were born during the simpsons and it made you laugh hysterically.

You were chubby. Little blue fists and deep blue eyes. White skin and wrinkled cheeks. You screamed a little and then just settled…. Not wanting to feed, but look around at your new world, your new family. I could see you putting voices to names and faces – you understood the connections better than I did.

You still do.

Six has been magic. You are reading, writing and doing incredible sums in your head. You have friendships and dance beautifully. You are amazing.

We love you.

Happy Birthday, boy.

Life: It’s what happens when you’re breathing

I love the title to this post, I want to write a post that somehow lives up to the title, but who knows, eh?

The past few weeks have been… surprising, humbling, busy and exciting. Isn’t that an incredibly heady mix?

Let’s start with the bee-yoo-tee-full! I was fortunate enough to attend a friend’s children’s birthday party. The details were gorgeous (and incredible and amazing!):

We also went to a friend’s wedding celebration – they’ve been celebrating their marriage for a while now 🙂

And the family donned skates. Totally fun. We’ve got skating lessons on the agenda tomorrow!!!

Now why have we been squeezing so much in?

Because One NEVER knows what is going to happen

I could tell you horror stories at the moment of what people around me are living – from re-growing tendons to surviving loss. Did anyone on any of the days where these things happened, wake up knowing that by the end of it, their life would be altered? No. No-one knew. On one hand it’s a chilling thought, on the other it’s a releasing thought. You cannot control everything, you don’t know what the future holds: if this is it, if this is as good as it gets, isn’t it a good idea to try and embrace as much as you can?

How I am currently embracing life:

  • Catching up with new and old friends
  • Eating cupcakes
  • Learning to Roller Skate
  • Participating in an online photography course
  • Hanging out on family adventures

So… do me a favor this weekend – embrace your life. Do something this weekend that you really, really, really want to do. For no other reason than, you have the opportunity.



(Oh! Goldfrapp didn’t let me take my camera in. Naughty goldfrapp. It was still a fun gig!)

27 lessons I learned at 27

27 has been a big year for me – learning lessons wise. I have become happier, fatter and poorer, but a little bit wiser, too.

The things that I have learnt (in no particular order) are that:

  1. I cannot control the actions of the people around me
  2. Wishing for change will not bring it
  3. The more I try to be perfect, the more I limit myself
  4. When I take on too many projects, what I am saying is that it is okay to fail because I have spread myself too thin
  5. Friendship comes from the most unlikely of places, when you least expect it
  6. I can control how I think about situations, events and people
  7. Reserving judgement is a powerful tool
  8. No-one judges myself as harshly as I do
  9. It’s okay to not be happy all the time
  10. “This too shall pass”
  11. The more you try to hold onto something, the faster it goes. Why? Because you are no longer holding onto the moment, but what you perceive to be the moment
  12. Fear is what holds me back
  13. There is no point in trying to be someone else – I have all the qualifications I need to be myself
  14. Saying “I’m sorry” can be two of the hardest words to say
  15. Sarcasm doesn’t really achieve much
  16. Experiences are worth more than things
  17. Raising a child can be hard work
  18. Being “grown-up” is not liking doing some things, but still knowing you have to do them
  19. Waiting for someone to instinctively know what you need is mildly silly. How can anyone read your mind?
  20. You can give advice freely, but don’t be upset if it isn’t taken
  21. You can only claim a stake in what you achieve, otherwise you’re not living your own life
  22. If I can ever make another decision, I would, but with the information I have at the time, I make the best decisions that I can.
  23. Sharing another person’s joy, is one of the greatest things you can share. If you can assist them when things aren’t joyful, that is even better.
  24. Putting on loud, happy music is one of the best ways to defeat the icky, yucky, pervasive feelings.
  25. Lying to yourself hurts you, and those around you, at some point
  26. Sometimes, walking away is the most powerful decision you can make
  27. Happiness is a choice

So tomorrow, I will wake up 28. And I’m okay with that.